Unless you’re prepared to dispense with copious amounts of hard cash, a typical stay in a modern mid-range hotel is a pretty mundane and predictable affair. The quality may vary, two hotels of equal rating might have huge variations in the standard of service, cleanliness and value for money; and when we experience the bad one we all trudge off to Trip Advisor to announce to the world how utterly rubbish it all was. But in truth, regardless of these factors, most hotels offer essentially the same experience.
The air-conditioned foyers, uniformed receptionists, nondescript corridors leading to pokey rooms with a trouser press, the impossibly small portions of instant coffee and UHT milk, the miniature bars of soap and shower gel dispensers, and TVs offering adult services for frustrated businessmen. In truth, you could be anywhere, and despite the occasional half-hearted attempt at being different, most mid-range hotels are depressingly familiar.
There are exceptions however, and the Malmaison Oxford Castle hotel is most definitely one of them. I’ve often likened hotel stays to a stint in prison, and at the Malmaison Oxford Castle you get exactly that, just without slop buckets and ever-present threat of sexual violence (at least not during my stay).
The ‘Oxford Mal’ is a converted Victorian prison, and the cells have been beautifully transformed into a thoroughly modern and yet fabulously quirky selection of rooms and suites. As they say on the official website;
“You’ve been bad. We know. It’s time to pay for all those second rate hotel rooms, the third rate room service, oh, the travel inn expresslodge travesty of it all. This time you’re going down. Guilty as charged.”
I’ll drink to that. And I did.
The Malmaison Oxford Castle also benefits from a fabulous location, and is right in the heart of this fabulous English city. It really is a must for those looking to escape hotel Groundhog Day. Besides, they always say prison is like a holiday camp, so here’s your opportunity to find out. For those looking for a stint inside, no longer do you need to put your foot through a shop window. Instead simply book yourself in at the Oxford Mal for a few days at Her Majesty’s Pleasure.
Thank you to the Hotel Price Scanner for this contribution.